Committing thought-crime against yourself

A few days back Alicia was reading through a slew of emails I’d written before I scheduled them to send.

She looked up from reading what I said about a) not caring that I’m “short” and b) having no desire to be “tall.”

Why do you prefer being short?

Truth be told, I couldn’t come up with a coherent answer.

It’s simply never been something I’ve put thought to, or spent time stewing in my boots wishing to finagle a couple extra inches onto my skeleton.

I’ve since put more thought to the question, and the most accurate answer I’ve got ties in with something an old friend, Erik, said to me:

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“Then you came along and showed me how much freedom there was to be had by literally not caring.

Someone who is confident in themselves has nothing to feel embarrassed about; you opened the door to that liberation.”

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Having ruled out all other potential answers, we’re left with the confidence factor.

If you’re confident in who you are, assured in your decisions, and willing to accept the consequences (good and bad) of your actions, that’s all you really need.

Besides, again, why in the everliving fuck would you waste a second of thought and energy trying to change one of the most immovable truths in existence?

I never cared to be taller because:

1. I found, and developed the confidence to make up for whatever may have been gained by a few extra inches of height in leaps and bounds.

2. Doing so would have consciously putting myself into an unfair DISadvantage by channeling negative energy, and focusing on something I have zero control over.

I’d rather eat 4 pounds of kale and start running marathons than consciously put myself at a disadvantage.

3. Not giving an iota of a single fuck about something outside of my control means I have more energy to put towards focusing on what I CAN improve.

Such as honing my copy chops, building bigger biceps, earning more money, dressing better, and doing things within my control to improve my confidence.

I don’t often speak in absolutes, but this I’m certain of:

There’s no greater thought-crime you can commit against yourself than to handicap your potential by using precious energy to try and change things not within your Wheel of Control.

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_A. Mullan

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