repetition >>> fuck ‘n chuck

I’m jamming on relationships right now:

(Probably because they’re all we’ve really got in life—and have the power to make, break, and shape you).

I spent this past Friday bumming around wineries, pizza spots, bagel shops, and fields of Lavender on Long Island, NY.

At the end of the day, the group of us wound up at the second-most impressive book store I’ve ever been too (the first being Powell’s City of Books in Portland, Oregon—the store takes up an entire square city block).

Within minutes I was clutching two books that have been on my reading list for months, and was browsing through journals. Because you can never have too many journals.

Needless to say, I was prepared to walk outta there with a slew of new books.

Until Alicia came over and not-so-gently reminded me that we have to pack (and I’ve already acquired three new books on this trip, and luggage space is at a premium).

Followed by this bit of sage advice:

“How many books are on the shelf at home that you haven’t read?

Books are like friends—read the ones you’ve got before buying more.”


Which ties in nicely to Sunday’s email about building high-quality, meaningful relationships.

I don’t know about you—but I’ve got two shelves of books at home that I haven’t gotten around to reading.

Not that I don’t want to read them. Rather, I simply haven’t made time to crack their covers and discover what secrets their pages contain.

Borrowing an excerpt from Sunday’s email:

“Despite WANTING deep, high quality relationships, I wasn’t placing much effort into the ones I already had.

Instead, I was operating under the assumption there were more and better people to meet, and when I did, I would experience the fulfilled relationships I wanted.”


On many levels, books are a fantastic metaphor for relationships—friendly, romantic, or otherwise.

Open, read, and explore the one’s you’ve got before reaching for a new one.

As Ben Settle likes to say, “you’ll get much more out of subject by reading 10 great books on a subject 10 times than 100 good books one time.”

And so it is with your relationships.

Depth, not breadth.

Repetition, not fuck-and-chuck.

Milk what’s on your shelf before searching for your next dopamine hit.

To go deep on the lessons, stories, and “how-to” behind this email, click or tap the link below to put your name on the Coffee Cartel print newsletter pre-sale list:

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_A. Mullan

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