Once upon a time, in the midst of intergalactic travels through Europe I decided to take a 4 day sabbatical from the usual consistent stream of daily emails.

The purpose was to isolate myself from the internets, spend time with Alicia, and meditate upon how I really want to serve y’all moving forward.

As it turned out, I needed 13 days to sift through the deluge of thoughts, emotions, and events that transpired.

Now I’m going to explain why.

On my personal missions:

Crossing from May 2018 into June, the four weeks I spent in Europe (Manchester, London, Athens, Mykonos, Amsterdam, Meppel) saw seen the telling of a Hero’s Journey in a few aspects of my life.

Specifically, my personal missions, and the relationship I share with Alicia.

The amount of personal growth and development this year I’ve experienced this year has truly been absurd.

It’s been coming so thick and heavy that I can taste it. It’s incredible, awe-inspiring, and overwhelming all at once.

On my way to realizing one of my longest-held dreams, opening an espresso bar (and more recently a subsequent tattoo shop), I’ve always known I would go through multiple evolutions before living the moment where I pull the first syrupy shot of espresso.

What I couldn’t, can’t, and don’t know (until it becomes too obvious to ignore) is how long each stage would, and will, last.

Fitness was two years.

Copywriting was 5-7 months.

Quicker than I could have ever anticipated, the time arrived for the next evolution.

Which, as I was beginning to realize at the end of April 2018, is to lead. To challenge YOU to think differently, and to help you realize, understand, and exercise the immense amount of control that you have over your life.

My time building an online fitness business and competing in bodybuilding competitions taught me about discipline, persistence, and stubborn grit.

My study of copywriting and persuasion granted me the tools, knowledge, and understanding needed to incite this Revolution.

Now the time has come to take the lessons, stories, and experiences I’ve gained, and to use the skills I’ve acquired to lead others.

There’s been a theme throughout my entire life of things falling into place as intended, getting what I want, and making what I want to happen, happen. From the outside, so I’ve been told, it looks like sorcery. That’s a perspective I can understand, because that’s the only plausible answer when you lack that control and see someone else bending the world to their will, taking no prisoners.

None of this is to brag. Rather it’s to draw attention to where I’m headed next. Through this position of leadership I’m growing into, my mission has evolved into helping people realize and take advantage of the control they possess over their thoughts, actions, decisions, and life.

Back to the intergalactic European adventures…

There was a whole lotta thinking, internal + external conversation, and experiences I’ll never forget. Many of which have shaped how things are going to unfold moving forward.

From wine-soaked nights with my Dad at hole-in-the-wall restaurants in the heart of Athens, to walking in solitude along the canals of Amsterdam, to travelling on mushroom-fuelled trips with Alicia…visceral clarity came quick, and hit hard.

To that end, the where I  write on the subjects I tend to keep buried inside has come. Which are my ideas, perspectives, and experiences. Y’know, the shit that can make a real difference in YOUR life.

It has come time to start throwing my messages in bottles out into the sea, and see what happens.

On Alicia and I:

Much of the past few months has been about, for lack of a better phrase, preparing her to come on this journey with me.

With where she was when I ended up on her doorstep in January, it was never going to happen. So, I, we, went to work.

If you’re reading this via my email list, you know as well as I do that any work worth doing is not easy. There where days where I questioned everything I was doing, why I willingly chose to walk this path, and if what I was aiming for was even possible.

I kept going because the feeling of “I’ve been here before” never left, and because I knew it was what I wanted. And so it was to be, has been, and is.

The time we spent in Europe turned out to be exactly what we needed to put more of the remaining pieces together.

I’d be lying if I said the therapeutic use of psychedelics wasn’t a key piece to everything I’m sharing with you.

I make no apologies for this–and believe that speaking openly of their benefits along with my (our) experiences is the best way to go about shattering the senseless stigma that surrounds their use.

The RIGHT drugs can be delightfully beneficial and positive IF you are able to control and respect their power, rather than allowing them to control and DISrespect you. And by “right drugs” I primarily mean psychedelics.

Molly (ecstasy) brought out our love, opened Alicia up to a different way of thinking, shattered the shackles of depression, and tied an eternal knot between us.

Bottles of wine with my Dad objectively presented my own beliefs and way of being in ways I don’t yet comprehend, stressed the importance of love, and more importantly, showed both of us what unconditional love feels like, and its power.

Mushrooms brought clarity, understanding, and allowed Alicia to travel into the source of pain and trauma that she experienced when she was a young girl, to face it, accept it, and now begin moving forward.

So long as you treat these wondrous substances with the respect they deserve, and are able to maintain and exercise control, they can be a massive net positive in your life. I’ve seen this in myself, Alicia, and many others.

More:

“I” and “you” no longer exists between Alicia and I.

It’s only us.

This is something I wish for you to experience too, and will do my best to help you find your own path.

I’m sharing all this with you as I want you to understand where I’m at, what I’m doing, and why.

This is evolution of a new order.

This is the beginning of a Revolution.

In closing, I want to leave you with three things:

1. What follows are a few thoughts from our mushroom trips.

I’m going to expand on each in the time to come, but they stand on their own as well.

“Moments pass. Things, ideas, and perspectives changes. Memories and experiences fade. Life is fluid, flexible…and that’s okay. It’s supposed to be that way.”

“The tighter your grip, the greater struggle you’ll experience, and the less control you have. Guide, don’t grip.”

“Love is all we need.”

“A child deprived of love has no love.”

“Death is nothing, and death is everything.”

Alicia: “Why do you ask for pain?”

Me: “When you ask for pain, it makes the smaller, less frequent moments of pleasure all the sweeter.”

2. A note from Alicia on the concept of Amor Fati:

“When I first got the coin, I hated it because it didn’t make any sense. Terrible things happen, and while they still shape who you are, it doesn’t feel right to love them. But the meaning I have found in ‘Amor Fati’ doesn’t have anything to do with loving my past. It means embracing the fact that I have control over my reactions, both how I view past events, and how I use them to shape things moving forward. I don’t love my past. I love the control that I have in the present, and my ability to shape the future. I love that because of that, I don’t need to control everything that happens. Just me. I can move into or away from pain. My fate isn’t my past. It’s my present. I always have the choice to love that. And things are better when I do.”

3. Lastly, a serious question that I want an answer to:

What do you really need?

Click here to email me your answer

_A. Mullan