Full disclosure:

I’ve found myself in a curious brooding funk of late—curious in that the reasons for said funk are not doom, gloom, and despair.

When I dove into this whole “build an online business” thing two and a half years ago, I had a few targets I was aiming for, and I had an idea of what I wanted my life to look like.

I wanted:

1. To be able to travel when I want, where I want, without a set return ticket.

2. Someone in my life to share the fruits of my labour with, and to be able to improve their quality of life.

3. To live in a *nice* place that I could call my own. No roommates, no shit-holes, nowhere that I have to leave to do laundry.

4. An income derived only from means I truly enjoy.

5. The abilities to buy as much coffee out as I want, spend freely on groceries, and to go to the kind of restaurants where people wonder “what the hell is this goddamn Greek doing here?”

6. A healthy, strong, capable, pain-free body that draws stares in the street (few will ever admit this).

7. Complete control of my time so that I can fill it with things I enjoy, such as reading, writing, walking, lifting, yoga, and watching TV shows and movies that are exemplary stories.

In a nutshell, I wanted what everyone else wants.

Financial + locational independence, meaningful work, control, and someone to share it all with.

Honestly, I’ve never had much desire to earn millions of dollars per year.

But 8-10K/month?

That’s more than enough to be able to do whatever I want, and not have to stress about finances while living comfortably. And that has proven to be the case.

Back to those goals I had two and a half years ago.

Here’s where they are now…

— to be able to travel when and where I please, ideally without a return ticket.

— someone in my life to share the fruits of my labour with, and to be able to improve their own quality of life.

— to live in a *nice* place that I could call my own. No roommates, and no shit-holes.

— an income derived only from things I truly enjoy.

— the abilities to buy as much coffee out as I want, spend freely on groceries, and to go to the kind of restaurants where people wonder “what the hell is this goddamn Greek doing here?”

— a healthy, strong, capable, pain-free body that draws stares in the street.

— control of my time so that I can fill it with things I enjoy, such as reading, writing, walking, lifting, yoga, watching TV shows and movies that are exemplary stories.

I’ve realized over the past couple of weeks that everything I poured into relationships, energy, focus, and time for years…I’m now able to confidently stamp with “mission complete.”

Which has undeniably left me feeling empty, and unsure of where to step next.

Worse, based on what I know of myself, how I got from where I was to where I am, and how I typically progress, I can’t get excited about the things that I would have in the past.

I KNOW that my copywriting chops will continue to improve, because I write anywhere from 2-10 emails per day, 1-3 sales letters per month, read the best information I can find on copywriting + persuasion, and have regular coaching calls with minds better than mine.

I KNOW that the two upcoming launches (Email Imagery 2.0 + The Coffee Cartel print newsletter) are going to be successful. I’ve done the research, crafted compelling copy, don’t have a “motivation” issue, and have an audience who picks up what I put down.

I KNOW that my body is in a good place and will continue to improve. I get plenty of sleep, drink water, wine, and espresso (the only 3 fluids anyone needs), have little to no stress, I alternate lifting with yoga, walk every day, and don’t eat like an asshole. None of this I have to think about.

I KNOW that my relationship with Alicia is going to continue to improve, largely because neither of us are afraid to have tough, honest conversations when need arises.

I KNOW that my cafe, Amor Fati, is going to become reality—because what I focus my energy on has a tendency to come to fruition (this is the power of having control).

And for better or for worse, I don’t have to try or put much conscious effort into any of the above. Everything functions on auto-pilot, with the occasional bit of maintenance.

Don’t get me wrong—it’s not that I’m ungrateful for the good in my life or are unable to recognize the years of work that helped me piece it all together.

But when you don’t have to struggle for ANY of what drove you for years (let alone things that are intimately rooted in basic human needs), how do you fill that void?

That’s the question I’m trying to answer right now.

I’ve thought of a few things:

Learning how to play guitar, make sourdough bread, experiment with drop shipping stores, strict (3hr/day) work blocks to force myself into exploring new things, and even writing a book (I have the outline finished).

Still, none of that has me leaping out bed at 5AM like the notion of working towards complete freedom, and my dream lifestyle once did.

This is a thread without a concrete answer or simple action steps.

This is a thread of musings.

This is a thread that ends with the following question:

When you have everything you wanted and still feel the need to fulfill your inner drive, where do you begin?

While I don’t have an answer for this (yet), I DO have the answers to help you create a life you don’t hate, a business that supports and complements your lifestyle while allowing you to live as you please.

To get’em you’ll have to subscribe to the Coffee Cartel print newsletter when it launches.

To add your name to the pre-sale list and get first crack at joining, click here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDkHHbVGzUQ

(Note: clicking the link above will automatically add your name to the Coffee Cartel pre-sale list take you to a clip from Rick & Morty, the greatest animated show of all time, and allow you to gain access to the Coffee Cartel launch special 24 hours before anyone else on this list or my social media channels does)

_A. Mullan