I’ve always hated the idea of writing birthday articles, posts, and emails sharing “XX lessons learned in XX years.”
In part because everyone does it, and in part because most of those lessons probably came to you in the past six to twelve months.
So, Monday having been my birthday, I’m going to pass along a handful or two of principles, habits, and models I’ve built into my life over the past twelve months.
These are not “how to” soundbites or suggestions.
Rather, they represent ways of being I’ve reaped reward from living for myself.
All are fresh in my memory, and much more relevant to where I’m at today, and perhaps where you are as well.
And awaaaay we go…
As Patrick Rothfuss, the world’s greatest storyteller, wrote in his novel The Wise Man’s Fear:
“It had flaws, but what does it matter when it comes to matters of the heart? We love what we love. Reason does not enter into it. In many ways, unwise love is the truest love. Anyone can love a thing *because.* That’s as easy as putting a penny in your pocket. But to love a thing *despite.* To know the flaws and love them too. That is rare and pure and perfect.”
This year I have travelled far and wide, made decisions, and begun building a new world for myself, Alicia, and others…all in the name of love.
Many of these decisions are not what one would expect, or encourage. Even so, soaked in all their unwiseness, I couldn’t be happier with how things are unfolding. Because I know what I have is rare and pure and perfect.
Love is all we have, and love is all we need.
To let it pass you by in favour of rules is simply absurd.
2. Everything is going to be okay.
At every decision, event, or inflection point that comes your way, you have a choice.
Decide that nothing is going to be okay, and suffer.
Decide that everything is going to be okay, and make it so.
Everything is going to be okay. If not today or tomorrow, there’s always next week, next month, next year.
3. Drugs are not for degenerates.
This year I’ve methodically used drugs (specifically MDMA and mushrooms) to help a small handful of people change their mind, overcome past trauma, shift their perspective, shatter long-held negative beliefs, and re-chart the course of their life.
While the drugs themselves are the catalyst and the real change comes from committing to doing the work after the fact, it’s the drugs and their ability to unlock new ways of thinking that make such change possible.
I know for a fact at least one life has been saved, and that’s worthwhile in itself.
4. Reading more GREAT fiction
I was a bookworm growing up.
I devoured entire Harry Potter books in an afternoon, read books years above my age, had my school librarian ordering in books for me, and would stay up well past my bedtime, hiding a light under my covers so I could read in the wee hours of the morning. Then, probably because I came to believe “reading wasn’t cool,” I fell out of the habit for years.
So, this year, I’ve begun to make a point of always having a piece of fiction on the go. Humans are wired for stories, and to always have a stack of pages calling to you, aching to pull you into their world and teach about the way of things is something I find immensely comforting.
5. Your life will rise or fall to the quality of your relationships
Your relationships are completely in your control, and you have the power to make them as incredible or soul-sucking as you want. You will have to make tough decisions, and you will have to make ones that scare you. But carefully curating your relationships is absolutely worth the time and effort.
6. Life is much more fun when you apply your own colours, filters, and consciously build your own world.
For example, you know I like to talk about worldbuilding, sorcery, casting spells, sipping potions, and I’ve begun applying new pieces of jargon from wizarding and medieval times to my own life.
While it may sound childish, it sure makes things more fun. If you’re having fun, doing what you want, helping people, and not causing harm…what’s the big deal?
Please, take all of this with a grain of salt or two.
It would be foolish to think I’ve got any of this figured out. But, sometimes, the right words said in the right voice at the right time are what you need for something to click.
With that, here’s to another year of sipping potions, casting spells, and practicing sorcery.
Pstscrpt. I wrote this particular email with a specific audience in mind.
Putting love over everything, living with the belief that everything is going to be okay (even when you’re surrounded by flames and chaos), speaking positively of drugs, hammering on the cruciality of relationships, reading stories, and painting your experience in life with your own colours and filters are principles and ways of being that will absolutely NOT resonate with everyone.
But if you found yourself nodding your head, enjoying the stories above, and thinking you’d like to get a taste for yourself, it’s time you subscribe to my dusty scrolls, The Sorcerers Guild newsletter.
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