Emily Ain’t Your Average Mom

If you’ve been struggling to banish fat from your body, despite your best efforts, today’s story will share the not-so-secret method that Emily and I used to:

  • Build her shoulders to the point where they’re the first thing you notice when she wears a tank, in that damn-girl-you’ve-got-great-shoulders kinda way.
  • Melt over 25 pounds of fat from her body, never to be seen again.
  • Shave an entire minute off her 40-lap time (she’s a Roller Derby girl).
  • Take her shoddy, painful, and irritable joints from being in a constant state of pain, to the point where it doesn’t suck to sleep anymore, and training isn’t an uncomfortable process.
  • Receive showers of compliments from peers, teammates, opponents, and of course, her husband.

None of these achievements came without there fair share of challenges. 

Emily, as:

  • An entrepreneur, the stresses of running a business often made a plate of cookies much more appealing than sticking to her plan.
  • A roller derby-ite, who practices 3-4 times per week, squeezing training in around her life-long passion was no easy task.
  • The mother of a baby transformer, lovingly referred to as Autotot, who takes great pleasure in leaving obscene amounts of destruction in his wake, and derailing even the best laid plans.

And to say she has an obsession for octopi would be putting things mildly.  But…we won’t hold any of this against her. Because none of the above alters the basal fact that Emily is just like so many of you out there.

All she wanted was to burn away fat, push some weight, and build muscle. Which are noble goals, to be sure. 

It would be simply enough to highlight the above, focus on all that Emily has accomplished, and let it be.  But, simply because progress has been made, doesn’t mean that the process was easy.

There were a number of weekends, and even a couple weeks were no training happened, nutrition was an after-thought, and I’d wake up to messages of despair, frustration, and confusion.

Or put more eloquently; shit happened, and life had other plans.

But none of that mattered because we worked towards consistency, not perfection, and Emily still got results.

Plus, when you consider the mental shifts that Emily has also undergone since we began working together, it’s been one hell of a transformation.

emily ain't your average mom

Emily is a fantastic example of what happens when you do the hard stuff.



In my eyes, there are two constants when it comes to a coaching-client relationship:

1. Your progress will never be linear. Ups, downs, and periods of plateauing are normal. Truth be told, that’s why you hire a coach in the first place. To help maximize the ups, work through the downs, and handle the plateaus without becoming discouraged, and throwing in the towel.

2. Part of a coach’s (my) job is to help manage expectations of the above. Having been on the same side of things as Emily, in business, writing, and bodybuilding, being able to skillfully manage expectations is the most impactful thing a coach can do for you.


“There is no silver bullet…No, we’re going to have to use a lot of lead bullets.”

– Ben Horowitz

The quote above is one I plucked from the book I’m reading at the moment, Perennial Seller by Ryan Holiday (which is incredible, by the way).

In the context of Perennial Seller, it’s meant to hammer home a point about marketing , building a business, and creating art that stands the test of time.

Yet, it translates well to the fitness world.

As it so happens, much of what is marketed in the fitness industry are silver bullets.

“Lose 20 pounds of fat in 28 days!”

“Pack 10 pounds of muscle onto your chest this month!!”

“Eat kiwis with the skin still on, and you’ll make Popeye look like a child!!!”

Okay, I may have made the last one up, but nonetheless, these are classic examples of a silver bullets.

Silver bullets promise you the world, and they promise it to you quick.

Which, thanks to our society’s fixation on instant gratification, sells like hot cakes at a strongman competition.

Alas, this sets many up to become trapped in a vicious feedback loop from hell, cycling through silver bullet after silver bullet, ultimately keeping you in the exact spot you are now, but now you have an addiction to the dopamine rush that comes with buying the next thing that will definitely work.

Bluntly put, it’s all bullshit.

To the best of my knowledge, no silver bullet has ever created lasting change, improved someone’s health over the long-term, or been the reason for an incredible physique.

If your mission is to rid yourself of that stubborn bit of fat that spills over your belt, fill out your clothes rather than resembling a skeleton draped in cloth, or beat away your doctor’s health concerns, you’re going to need a lot of lead bullets to get the job done.

Which means:

– not coming up with cheap excuses for why you shouldn’t train today, or eat whatever the fuck your eyes desire.

– understanding that muscle, fat loss, and progress all take time.

– internalizing the need for consistency in your training, and your nutrition.

– recognizing that you need an effective, sustainable plan to follow.

– knowing that you’re going to have to make some adjustments to your lifestyle if you want to be successful.

– coming to terms with the fact that progress is not, and will likely never be linear, but so long as you adhere to the above, great things will happen.

These are not sexy, silver bullets that promise you the world. These are the lead bullets you need to load your gun with. But, they’ll get you the results you’ve been dreaming of – that’s for damn sure.

In my corner of the interwebs, I don’t offer quick fixes. I don’t pitch silver bullets. Because, they don’t work.

But, lead bullets do.


Everything that Emily has achieved since we’ve been working together has been a direct result of firing lead bullet after lead bullet.

As her coach, my role is to help keep her clip of bullets full, (and remind her to use them from time to time).

True change doesn’t happen by accident, nor does it happen by hopping from silver bullet to silver bullet.

If you’ve been stuck in the insidious circles of silver bullets, I’m here to help.

Should it tickle your fancy, my 1-1 coaching program is built upon a sturdy foundation of lead, and will sure as shit help you get the results you’re after.

As I’ve done for Emily, I humbly submit that I can do much the same for you.


Wondering what’s next?

Well, here’re a few options:

1. If you know of anyone else who might benefit from the words of wisdom you just read, why not share it with them? (made super easy with the links to your left).

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3. Frustrated to all hell with trying to build muscle and melt fat on your own? I can help with that.

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